Patti Miller, Independent Licensed Ishtara Teacher

My mother tells me I came into the world as a bundle of joy. I have vivid memories of making everyone around me laugh and come together through that joy. I had vitality, authenticity, a sense of play, and I trusted my instincts. I was unafraid to try and fail. As I grew up, I learned from the things that did not serve me, but rather the world. I received praise for “success” and felt shame for failure. My body was not the right “type” to be a professional dancer. Goofiness meant I couldn't be taken seriously. I was valued for my productivity over my creativity. I was valued when I stayed small, literally and figuratively. The world took my vitality and told me that if I tried to squeeze it into conformity to make others dreams and goals happen I would find happiness there.

 

I would find creativity where I could: through dance, through acting, through organization, through teaching young people, through producing theatre, through fundraising for artists, through making others dreams come to a reality. I would squeeze in my creativity and joy as I centered the world’s goals more and more. I gave up on my big dreams, because it seemed inevitable to happen either way.

 

My journey back to my body began with a reckoning of my relationship with food restriction, fitness addiction, and body dysmorphia. Through coaches and teachers, spiritual practices, long walks, and a lot of work with myself I have begun a lifetime journey of unlearning and rewiring. I have slowed down, learned gratitude, and brought the simple and content bright spots in life to the center of all that I do. I plunged to depths of being with myself so I could soar to the heights and learn to enjoy it all a little more. Ishtara was a key piece of me being in conversation with my body again.

 

Ishtara changed my life. It revitalized my ability to exist, experience, and enjoy the journey of life. It taught me how to feel, honor and embrace the uncomfortable things in life like rage, disappointment, and deep sadness. I began to create relationships with them so I could learn the gifts they have to offer. 

 

I have lived experience with healing eating disorders, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and fitness addiction. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young person and have explored coping strategies, a few paths with medication, and the strengths and trauma that come from living with this experience. I have worked my way up through the nonprofit world and currently work in a corporate/startup environment in operations/management, so I have  experience with the stress and difficulties that can come from work and managing interpersonal relationships at work. Being a woman in those types of environments has also allowed me to strengthen my relationship with my femininity and what it means to have women in leadership. I have been on a spiritual journey over the past decade, and remain open and curious about anything life can teach me. I have been practicing Ishtara since 2021, and became a licensed Ishtara Teacher in 2022. I am also a certified Mind Body Eating Coach through The Institute of the Psychology of Eating.